R.I.P

when my dad calls me more then once in a row after already leaving me a voicemail you know its not good news. after a few classes i called him back. he starts with saying i have a few things to tell you... great. good news his tumor was 80% dead and the tissue tests were clean. next he asks me about my calf, so i'm thinking great it's dead and was supposed to bring me a good check this week. luckily he said he was just double checking because they are selling tomorrow. whew. ok good right? wrong. next thing he says- so i went to feed this morning and cruzer was laying in the middle of the corral (i'm thinking shoot he's sick) and he was dead.... dead?! how could he be dead?! no reason whats so ever! this was like being told my best friend had died! cruzer has been around for 17 years! i've known him longer then i've known all my brothers! since i was 12 he has been solely mine. he knows what to do to protect me from harm, and we've been through so much together, rain or shine, literally! my junior year was extremely difficult for me, so everyday in the fall i would go with wade and my dad and ride for hours. it was the best therapy you could ever imagine! these last few weeks have been crazy with mid terms, and honestly i've never been away from home for this long- ever! so i've been scheming when i can go home again, it was planned not to go home until the deer hunt. but i just have had this feeling i have to ride my horse! make everything better, but now.... anywho i hope i get to be with him in heaven, and i hope he is running free! rest in peace buddy...